Who's on Start?


Costello: Hey, Abbott!
Abbott: Yes, Lou? 
Costello: I just got my first computer.
Abbott: That's great, Lou. What did you get?
Costello: A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM. 
Abbott: That's terrific, Lou. 
Costello: But I don't know what any of it means! 
Abbott: You will in time. 
Costello: That's exactly why I'm here to see you. 
Abbott: Oh? 
Costello: I heard that you're a real computer expert. 
Abbott: Well, I don't know . . . 
Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train me. 
Abbott: Really? 
Costello: Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson. 
Abbott: O.K. Lou. What do want to know? 
Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off. 
Abbott: That's true. 
Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do? 
Abbott: Well, first you press the Start button, and then . . . 
Costello: No, I told you I want to turn it off. 
Abbott: I know, you press the Start button . . . 
Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do. 
Abbott: I did. 
Costello: When? 
Abbott: When I told you to press the Start button. 
Costello: Why should I press the Start button? 
Abbott: To shut off the computer. 
Costello: I press Start to stop? 
Abbott: Well, Start doesn't actually stop the computer. 
Costello: I knew it! So what do I press? 
Abbott: Start. 
Costello: Start what? 
Abbott: Start button. 
Costello: Start button to do what? 
Abbott: Shut down. 
Costello: You don't have to get rude! 
Abbott: No, no, no! That's not what I meant. 
Costello: Then say what you mean. 
Abbott: To shut down the computer, press . . . 
Costello: Don't say, "Start!" 
Abbott: Then what do you want me to say? 
Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop. 
Abbott: But that's what you do. 
Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights. 
Abbott: Don't be ridiculous. 
Costello: I'm being ridiculous? Well, I think it's about time we started this conversation. 
Abbott: What are you talking about? 
Costello: I guess that I will have to start this conversation right now.